EXCLUSIVE: Kevin Rudd’s uncensored Copenhagen speech

Following K R Puff'n'Fluff's latest f-bomb dropping episode, the first draft of his speech to the upcoming Copenhagen climate change conference has fallen off the back of a truck. Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished guests. Can I start by acknowledging the Eora tribe or whoever the f*** it is whose land we’re on. I guess it’s the f***ing Vikings - although why the f*** you would want to acknowledge those pillaging ****s I don’t know. Your f***ing country I suppose. Anyway, we’re here to discuss global warming, which quite frankly doesn’t seem to be much of a problem in Copenhagen in December. What is it? Minus f***ing 20? Jesus, I thought Canberra could shrink a monkey’s nuts but you people make a bloke want to wear a f***ing mirkin. No wonder the Vikings thought England was a f***ing tropical island. Jesus, I’d invade London myself if the whole place wasn’t totally f***ing rooted by the GFC – and the “G” stands for “Gordon”, let me tell you. Speaking of which, it may have come to your attention that not only have I delivered a f***ing school hall to every man, woman and child in Australia, I’ve also fixed the GFC so if any of you sleepy ****s down the back want to ask me any questions on how it’s done just put your name down in the exercise book my girl Shayna’s passing round. You can read the rest here. Via Tim Blair

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