Wednesday, May 27, 2009

We have adverbs too, and we are not afraid to use them!

The Borowitz Report nicely sums up the Obama administration's strong--really strong!--reaction to North Korea's nuclear test:
One day after North Korea launched a successful test of a nuclear weapon, President Obama said that the United States was prepared to respond to the threat with "the strongest possible adjectives."
 
In remarks to reporters at the White House, Mr. Obama said that North Korea should fear the "full force and might of the United States' arsenal of adjectives" and called the missile test "reckless, reprehensible, objectionable, senseless, egregious and condemnable."
 
Standing at the President's side, Vice President Joseph Biden weighed in with some tough adjectives of his own, branding North Korean President Kim Jong-Il "totally wack and illin'."
 
Later in the day, Defense Secretary Robert Gates called the North Korean nuclear test "supercilious and jejune," leading some in diplomatic circles to worry that the U.S. might be running out of appropriate adjectives with which to craft its response.
 
But President Obama attempted to calm those fears, saying that the United States was prepared to "scour the thesaurus" to come up with additional adjectives and was "prepared to use adverbs" if necessary.
 
"Let's be clear: we are not taking adverbs off the table," Mr. Obama said. "If the need arises, we will use them forcefully, aggressively, swiftly, overwhelmingly and commandingly."
No verbs, I'm afraid, are in prospect.
 
 
Which calls to mind this dialogue from Team America: World Police -
 
Hans Blix: Then let me look around, so I can ease the UN's collective mind. I'm sorry, but the UN must be firm with you. Let me in, or else.

Kim Jong Il: Or else what?

Hans Blix: Or else we will be very angry with you... and we will write you a letter, telling you how angry we are.
 
Though seriously, what is Obama to do? North Korea is no Iraq. My military brother-in-law had no doubt that whereas Iraq was a relatively soft target, the North Korean military is "hard".
 
And the terrain difficult.
 
Any war there will be very nasty, though the North Koreans must know that if China does not intervene of its behalf it will be defeated.
 

Posted via email from Garth's posterous

3 comments:

Brentbo said...

True, verbs have been ruled out by the Obama administration. However, they are testing a system of stealth gerunds to be deployed within eighteen months.

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