Welcome to the The Einstein Factor. I’m your host, Peter Berner, and tonight our contestant is Sydney internet hobbyist Tim Blair.
Tim: Hi, Pete.
Peter: And your special subject?
Tim: Idiotic protesters, 2002-2009.
Peter: Your 90 seconds begin now. The lead singer of which 1980s band decided in 2003 it would be smart to protest the invasion of Iraq by taking off her clothes?
Tim: The Eurogliders.
Peter: Correct. And what was unique about the protest?
Tim: It was conducted at an undisclosed location, for fear of unwanted onlookers.
Peter: Correct. How old was the little Islamic girl holding the sign “Jews haven’t learn they need Nazis more than before” at a Melbourne rally this year?
Tim: About 12.
Peter: Incorrect. She was about seven. How many turned up at Bondi Beach on October 4 to take part in the “biggest world march ever known to mankind”?
Tim: According to the Wentworth Courier, about 30.
Peter: Correct. How far did artist Jenny McCracken drive last December in order to protest carbon emissions?
Peter: Correct. The emblem for which German car company frequently appears at peace rallies where protesters are too stupid to draw a proper peace sign?
Tim: Mercedes Benz.
Peter: Incorrect. I think you’ll find it’s “Mercedes-Benz”, with a hyphen. Points deducted. Four hundred global warming activists were covered in what during a 2008 protest in Maryland?
Peter: Correct. True or false: an anti-Jewish protester’s sign in New York last year read “Death To All Juice”?
Tim: Can I go to the brains trust on this?
Peter: Yes. Brains trust, your verdict.
Sheik Hilaly: There was no such sign!
Keysar Trad: The sign was taken completely out of context.
David Marr: Here we go again, with the tiresome race-baiting and dog-whistling of Australia’s anti-Islamic right. The issue isn’t whether there was a sign or not, nor what it said. Rather, the issue is whether the malign influence of John Howard’s divisive rule will ever be …
Tim: I’ll say true.
Peter: Correct. What is the finest protest sign ever presented at any rally in the history of humankind?
Tim: That would be “Look at all these ridiculous people”, a sign planted in the ground during a 2003 anti-sexism rally at Augusta National Golf Club.
Peter: Correct. Although the ABC switchboard is currently lighting up with nominations for “Get a brain! Morans”, said to have been held by a pro-war protester in Missouri.