If global warming is a scientific fact, then you better be prepared for the earth to become a more violent place. That’s because new Iowa State University research shows that as the earth’s average temperature rises, so too does human “heat” in the form of violent tendencies …
Using U.S. government data on average yearly temperatures and the number of violent crimes between 1950 and 2008, the researchers estimate that if the annual average temperature in the U.S. increases by 8°F (4.4°C), the yearly murder and assault rate will increase by 34 per 100,000 people – or 100,000 more per year in a population of 305 million.
This is why elderly Americans retire to sunny Florida, by the way. They enjoy the street brawls. Still, warmies are always telling us to take every precaution we can, so it must make sense to avoid electing politicians from warm or subtropical areas. These people could at any time lash out viciously due to childhood heat trauma. Best to play it safe and elect candidates from cooler, more peaceful regions, like … I don’t know … Alaska.